About a decade ago, I was torn.

I’d wake up to a persistent low-grade tension in my gut that wouldn’t let off.

I broke up with my girlfriend less than a month ago but I was tempted to get back together.

I was afraid that I made a mistake.

My best friend called me and said — Nikita, you’re wasting your time. And worse than that, you’re wasting hers.

He was right but I couldn’t escape the fear of losing her forever if I broke up.

And so we stayed together for several more years until the inevitable happened — the relationship ended.

So many men go through this cycle of staying in a relationship too long when their hearts know it’s over.

And it hurts because that relationship doesn’t get better.

It’s rocky. It’s up and down. It’s a damn rollercoaster.

But at least you have certainty that you won’t lose her, right?

Wrong.

You’re losing the opportunity to meet the woman who clicks with you.

I wish I could spend some time with that younger Nikita and help him realize that he’s missing two things:

1. A clear list of values he finds fulfilling in a relationship

2. courage

Had I known how to use my mind + heart to list the values that I was looking for in my ideal woman — it would have been clear as day that something wasn’t working out.

I wouldn’t have been guessing. That would have been the end.

My mind ran in fear but my gut clearly knew the answer.

My mind won in the short-term by easing my fears but lost in the long-term because the relationship came to an end anyway.

I lacked the courage to say NO.

I didn’t have a list of values to clearly see which ones didn’t match up.

That meant my mind won because I lacked the courage to listen to my gut.

There’s a silver lining in this story.

After my eventual breakup, I began dating but this time, I was armed with a list of true values for a fulfilling relationship.

I dated several women before I met my wife.

But this time, I didn’t waste time.

I wasn’t holding on to something that wouldn’t fulfill me in the long term because I understood how to compare whether her values aligned with my unique values.

And breaking up wasn’t difficult either because it made sense in my head + my heart.

Truvalues Workshop

I’ll be hosting the TruValues workshop on October 9th, 2024 at 10 am MDT where I’ll give you the tools to uncover the unique values you’re seeking in your ideal woman using your mind + heart.

That’ll give you the confidence in knowing whether the woman you’re dating will result in a fulfilling long-term relationship rather than wasting months of your life.

The workshop is live and in 90 minutes, I’ll guide you through the process.

You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of your core values and the values you’re looking for in your marriage-quality woman.

There will also be an opportunity to ask your questions at the end.

Life’s too short to live in fear and stay saddled in rocky relationships.

Once you understand how to uncover and align values, you’ll have the power to quickly decide whether the woman you’re dating is a yes or a no.

Registration closes in 6 days.

Until next time,

Nikita.